Close call at Helen's wedding

At Helen's wedding I was given the responsibility of walking Grandma down the aisle.
Helen called me up and asked me if I could handle this, and if I would please not trip and bring Grandma down with me.
Of course, I ensured her that I would do a fine job.

For the wedding, my mom bought matching shirts for my dad, Bruce, and me, so my dad and I both wore that shirt.
Everything else I borrowed from my dad, except my underwear, my socks, and my dress shoes.
Since I rarely dress up, these shoes have lasted me since college.

We arrived at the wedding pretty early.
After I got out of the car, my mom looked down and asked me what the mess on the floor was.
There was black gunk everywhere.
After careful examination, it turned out be the bottom of my shoes.
They had melted a bit in the sun, and started wearing off onto the carpet floor.
As I walked around, I felt my shoes sticking to the floor.
Even inside, everywhere I walked, I was leaving a black trail.

I tried to walk as little as possible, choosing to sit, or just stand.
At one point, as I was standing there talking, I lifted my right foot and felt my foot get a lot lighter.
I looked down, and saw that my entire heel had fallen off!
I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing... my dad and Jen did too, once they saw what had happened.

However it was also starting to make walking a problem as the bottom of my shoes were now uneven.
I started wondering if I really could handle my responsibilities.
Shortly before the wedding was about to start, the status of my shoes had deteriorated even more.
The heels had both fallen off. In fact, everything had fallen off, except for a clump at the very center of the shoe.
This meant that for both feet, I was essentially balancing on a single lump instead of standing on a flat surface.

Luckily, my balancing skills were up to par as I did not trip during the walk!

Success!


Oh, the other weird thing at the time was that I was completely deaf in my right ear.